(You know, aside from being fabulous and getting paid to be a professional hair tousler.)
I'm talking about when I was going to start my own dating site and help people find true love. Remember? I was having so much fun helping my friend navigate the online dating waters, and I was somewhat of an expert?
(We're using the term "expert" here loosely, obviously.)
Well, scratch all that.
Apparently, before people go online or actually INTERACT WITH OTHERS, they need a little pre-game coaching. A lowdown of the BASIC RULES OF HUMANITY. A list of things NOT to do, and the ways NOT to do them. They need HELP.
(And by "they", I mean "guys." And not EVERY guy.)
(But lots. Sorry dudes, but the odds are against you. Ladies, you are not completely exempt. Take note.)
So, because I am trying to HELP, and save everyone involved a lot of heartache, I present to you these rules:
Tia's Top Five Ways to Avoid Being a Tool: Internet Dating Version
1) Do not join a site for DATING if you do not have time to actually DATE, and then blame your ridiculous schedule on the other party. DATING REQUIRES TIME. Make it, or log off.
2) Breaking up should be done in person. If you've had more than 5 dates, this applies. No texts, no emails, no lighting of the Bat Signal. More than 5 dates = DATING, and DATING requires common courtesy. Phone will do in a PINCH, but it's still a cop out.
3) Online "dating" should be just that. Dating. Not booty-calling, not casual sexing. If you want that, there are plenty of sites available for you. A quick way to end a potential relationship before it begins? Lewd texts and emails. Save it for the adult chat lines, yo.
4) Once again, the definition of "dating" means actually GOING OUT. Doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant, but repeated requests for you to "just come over" don't exactly exude romance and intrigue. Especially if that's the protocol for dates 2-6. There's plenty of time for things to get boring after a few months, let's not jump the gun.
5) Be nice. Seriously. It's that simple.
I know some of these rules might seem obvious and/or ridiculous to you, but honestly, they all boil down to consideration. Trust me. My dating history has a long memory.
No one likes to feel bad, especially when you're putting yourself out there to meet someone. Dating could be a fairly pain-free experience if everyone just considered the other person's feelings, and acted accordingly.
Easy-peasy. Go forth and eff it up anyway succeed.
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16 comments:
the first one kills me, why bother if you don't have time? Seriously? grrr.
As much as I'd love to find someone nice to take me out and spoil me, I'm just NOT brave enough to try online dating. Good tips though, thanks for sharing...
Sue x
We had five solid days of awesome dating. Just sayin'...
LOL!!! Hilarity!
great post, very wise :)
Hahaha. That last line is great. :)
I completely agree with what you've said though. And not just with online dating. So many people these days don't want to take the time/effort to get to know each other and make dating fun. Traditional dating (the kind where you actually go OUT) goes right out the window. It's sad.
Ehh.. i did the online dating thing, and Im convinced only douchebags and loser guys are out there. I gave up. And they all def. were in dire need of your rule book!
I think these are good for online dating or "real" dating (not that there is a difference anymore.) I'm going to make my little sister, who is just getting her feet wet in the dating pool, read this.
Oh, I love this! As a single 20 something navigating back into the dating world and using online dating to do so, I have a story for each rule you put up there... unfortunatley. Seriously, who raises these men? What ever happened to chivalry? Manners? Respect?
Sigh
I met my last boyfriend online, but our relationship was very much in real life. We dated for a year. Then he dumped me in an email.
Boys are stupid.
Thanks for the tips! Hopefully someone will listen to them!
I love it!! Sign me up =)
Tia, I just found your blog... and am so glad I did. Your dating tips apply on and offline... and it's amazing how many people don't get it.
Thank you for educating the masses! Us single people appreciate it. :-)
Good advice. A shame that it even has to be written down for people...
Youve got some serious advice here and I agree to all of it. When interacting with human beings we should act as one. Not as selfless jerks that most do. :-)
I think I agree with #1 - but I think you need to state your intentions. Being a freelance writer, I have a limited time schedule. Since I'm always going to be a freelance writer, I won't have a lot of time. I want to date, of course and I will make time for it when it applies. In my dating profiles that I've had I make sure I say "I'm a freelance writer and it sucks my time, but in my time off, I'm looking to meet great people."
It still boggles my mind how people on dating websites don't take your rules (which, btw, are right on point) into consideration. And then they bitch that they can't find someone. It takes effort, people!!!
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