Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Break-Up Diet.

One of the perks of being, well, ME is that authors occasionally send me books to read and review on this blog.

(Another perk is great hair. Clearly.)

Anyhoodle.

When Women on Writing contacted me and asked if I'd be interested in being one of the blog tour stops for Annette Fix and her memoir The Break-Up Diet, I jumped at the chance.



The Break-Up Diet is an honest, engaging, and hilarious look into a heartbreaking end to a relationship and the hopeful beginning of a new life.

Annette is real and charming, and she writes with no-holds-barred. She was the sole support of her son for 15 years. She has now been married for 5 years and is adjusting to an empty nest. Annette is a freelance editor, a publishing industry and single parenting speaker, and the Senior Editor of WOW! Women on Writing. She can be emailed directly at annette(at)annettefix(dot)com.


I asked her a few questions about being published and putting it all out there in her memoir, and here's what she had to say:

ME: How did you come up with the central concept of "the diet," and when you began to write, did you know that the recipes would be the theme of the book?

AF: The concept of “The Break-Up Diet”—a spontaneous weight-loss phenomenon that happens when a woman gets dumped by a man she loves more than life and chocolate—was what happened to me after my ex left. I lost a ton of weight even though I spent weeks eating hot fudge topping right out of the jar!

The recipe idea came from a male filmmaker friend. He was giving me notes on the first draft of my manuscript. One of his notes: “Where’s the diet?” He said that if my book was about a diet (leave it to a guy to take the title literally), then I should include low-calorie recipes for the readers.

I didn’t want to make it about food—that’s been done so many times in food memoirs, and it isn’t what The Break-Up Diet is about. I wanted to find a way to show how women’s emotions are so powerful that they can affect everything in a woman’s life—including her weight loss or weight gain.

I came up with the idea to create emotional “recipes” like: Crisis Pilaf, Guilt Stew, Doubt Cake, and Love Me S’mores. There are 15 recipes scattered randomly throughout the book, following the particular journal entries that inspired each of them.

ME: The relationship you have with your son is really amazing. In the book, you mention the night he found out you weren't just bartending. How did that affect your relationship?

AF: It’s funny. I get this question often. But there isn’t a juicy answer behind it. I was a single mom for 15 years (sole support and care), so my son and I have always been and still are extremely close. The revelation of my job as a dancer didn't faze him. He knows me as Mom—the person who has always been there for him, the ONLY person who has ever been there for him.

In another interview, I was asked how my son felt about the book. When I asked him, he said, "I lived it, so I don't need to read it. I trust what you wrote in there. Being in your book makes me feel like I'm having my 10 seconds of fame. And since most of my friends have read it, it allows them to know me better."

ME: Even as just a reader, you can really FEEL the pain the breakup caused you, and you are so honest about your feelings. Do you feel as though writing the book was cathartic for you? If so, how?

AF: I wrote the book as the real-time story unfolded and I wanted to be completely candid about the experience. I’ve never read a book that portrayed the uncensored emotions and thoughts a woman has when she goes through a tough relationship break-up. Although the telling of my story moves from quirky humor (my painkiller of choice) to visceral heartbreak, I wrote about things most women don’t ever reveal.

I don’t know if it was necessarily cathartic—except maybe that it helped me focus on creating something instead of dwelling on what had been destroyed, which seems like a total contradiction since I was re-living the break-up every day on the page. But, once I entered the dating phase, I wondered how my life would unfold and what interesting things would happen to write about next.

ME: Dating definitely provides good stories, that's for sure. What advice can you give someone suffering through a bad breakup? Something that helped you through the worst times?

AF: Eat a lot of chocolate! I sure did. Chocolate (especially dark chocolate) increases serotonin levels in your brain and releases endorphins that make you feel better. But just short of eating your body weight in chocolate… There is no magic salve. Focus on doing things you love to do. Spend time with positive people who lift your spirits. And give it time. Time will give you the perspective to analyze why the relationship didn’t work. Understand there is a reason that person wasn’t right for you. People who are supposed to be together don’t break up.

When you are ready to jump back into the dating pool, make a list of everything you want in a mate and never settle for less. Expect from your prospective mate exactly what you have to offer. No more. No less.

ME: I totally agree. How did everyone characterized in the memoir feel about being included?

AF: One of my “characters” was completely tickled about being included and said, “OMG! I can’t believe you wrote the book exactly like it really happened!” Then she bought several copies to give as gifts to her friends. Another old girlfriend threatened to sue me. So, you never can tell. I think when you write a memoir, there won’t be anyone involved who is neutral about it. Either the people in your life will love it or hate it.

ME: And that could potentially make for a great sequel, right? =) Has "Kevin" (The Ex) read the book?

AF: I have no idea. But if “Kevin” ever becomes curious about what’s going on in my life and runs my name through Google (if he hasn’t already), he’ll definitely find out! He wasn’t a bad guy and I don’t think I portrayed him in a bad light, but I’d be curious to hear what he has to say after reading it. Mostly because I don’t think he had any idea how our break-up affected me—at least not beyond his friends trying to convince him I was a psycho bunny-boiler! (laughs)

ME: Haha! I think we've all been in that position a time or two. (No? Just Annette and me? Okay then.) What advice can you give someone chasing the publishing dream? Any tips?

AF: Boy, where to start. There are so many! First, don’t ever give up. Often, the only difference between a published author and an unpublished writer is persistence. Believe in yourself; believe in your work. Find the universal theme in your manuscript—what universal truth in your story will connect you to readers? Study the craft; never stop learning. Discover your authentic voice and always be true to it. Join a critique group and workshop your material; other perspectives will give great insights. Do your homework before you approach an agent; make sure she signs and sells authors/books in your genre and make sure your manuscript is the best it can be.

***

Because Annette is super awesome, she is NOT ONLY giving a signed copy of her book away to one of my darling freaders, but she is ALSO offering free digital copies of her memoir for the length of her book tour. Please email promo(at)thebreak-updiet(dot)com and put "Clever Girl" in the subject line.

To be eligible for the drawing for the signed copy of Annette's book, please leave a comment on THIS POST. Only one comment per person will be counted. You have until next Saturday (March 7th) at midnight to enter! Good luck!

Thanks again, Annette! I really enjoyed your book.

90 comments:

Chanteuse said...

This sounds like such a good read! Have emailed off for the promo version already and look forward to spreading the word. Who of us clever girls haven't been there and done that?!

Sydni said...

This book sounds really intriguing! I'd definitely like to get my hands on a copy.

thebreakupdiet said...

Tia,

Thanks for hosting my book tour! I'll pop by throughout the day to answer any questions and respond to comments from your readers. =)

Annette

cavy said...

this book sounds fantastic! i'm dying to read it!

Sassy Britches said...

She sounds like a down-to-earth woman with a good head on her shoulders. My kind of gal. I can't wait to read this!

BumbleBeeRunning said...

This book sound fab! Definitely enter me to win :) And if I dont win I'm still putting it on my "To Read" list!

Veronica said...

That was a great interview Tia, really awesome! I'd love to get into writing, and reading this from someone who's already done it so authentically was fabulously low-cal food for thought!!

Knocturnal said...

sounds intriguing. i look forward to reading something new. thanks for sharing!

Gina said...

Great interview! I wish I was as talented as you...and that I had your hair. (Maybe not in that order.) I'd love a copy of Annette's book...it sounds great!

Kylie said...

Sounds like a great book! I want to enter the contest!

Pick Me, Pick Me! ;)

SJN said...

Although happily married, I'm gonna get it and read it! Great interview, Thx!

Emily said...

wow what a great offer. this book sounds amazing! i'd love to check it out! sounds like the kind we can all relate to.

Tori said...

What a great interview! I really feel like I know her a bit better already. This book sounds really intriguing--I'd love to read it!

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Another book on my "Must Read" list. My hubby will be so happy to know I must read this one now...lol

fabbrunette said...

OOh this looks like a really good read - sign me up for the contest!

Graham said...

Thanks for sharing the interview...the book sounds like a great read.

Enter me please!

Thanks

Kelly said...

I would love to read this book! Please sign me up =)

X-Stina's X-Ploits said...

Been there, done that. 12 years ago and still on the "diet". I was a single mom for 7 years before I met the other love of my life, my husband Anthony. I only wish I could have put it all into words that easily!

The Rich Ant said...

I hoping I win so here is my entry. A candid book about relationships is just what a girl needs.

Emily said...

I am so excited to read this book whether I win a copy or not! Of course I would really LOVE to win a copy!!
(I'm a poor college student, and this is a recession! Sad Story!)

Either way Clever Girl I am in love with your blog! <3

KT said...

Wow this sounds like a great book! I hope I win the drawing :) Do you need any other contact information?

*Akilah Sakai* said...

Digital copies? How cool is that?!

This book sounds like something right up my alley.

Girl J said...

Fantastic interview-post or interpost....does that work?? Definitely will be buying that book, its looks like its funny and honest and what more can you want? Gotta be interesting if it tells her story exactly how it was and it may even make a few of my 'to buy' lists for friends.

Shirley said...

I want to be in the drawing

Missy said...

I'm adding it to my Goodreads list.

SarahMayaSophia said...

I waunt that.

Amanda said...

Oh! Oh!
Pick Me!

Melinda said...

Awesome review..I can't wait to read the book!

insomniaclolita said...

The book sounds awesome. I wish I had a copy :)

Cali Girl said...

Interesting! Thank you!!!

~J*~ On Life said...

Oh, Tia, dear, I miss you so. I miss reading your blog every other day or so. Stupid restrictions. Grrr.

I want to catch up, but you've posted so much, and I don't have the patience right now. But I read this one, at least!! =D

<33333 I miss yoooh!!

~J*~

Wrangler said...

Ooo...Me, Me, Me... :) *raises hand and bounces in her seat* Me.. Me...

Count me in on the drawing. Please.

michaela1123 said...

I was recently connected with Annette, and concur, she's clever, witty and downright funny. I enjoyed reading your blog Tia, thanks for highlighting Annette's fab read!

(michaelarenee.com)

tootie said...

Count me in! :)

Tina said...

Great Post and it sounds like a Great Book! I would love to be included in the drawing!

Bunnie said...

I love to read and I'm always on a look out for new books and this is definitely on the top of my list after reading your review and interview. Thanks for the review! :) XOXO

Krysten said...

Any advice that involves eating chocolate is for me! Love the bunny-boiler line--too funny. Can't wait to read this.

The Bush Family said...

Sounds like a great book! I would love a copy :) if I win yay! If I don't then I'll just buy it..lol! :)

Michelle said...

I saw that book while shopping the other day... I think I'll check it out of the library.

Bleutrumpet said...

That sounds interesting! Even though I haven't gone through a horrible breakup, my first reaction was to call my best friend while eating a lot of chocolate. Chocolate helps everything, lol.

tari said...

sounds like a great read. count me in for the drawing.

Brandi said...

The book sounds great! I can't wait to read it!

Stepfanie said...

This sounds like an awesome book that almost everyone can relate to. I would love to get my hands on this book and start reading!

Katherine said...

Great review! I would love to have a signed copy.

hotpants4979 said...

The book definitely sounds interesting.

Annette said...

WOW! How awesome that so many of you are excited about my book! YAY! =)

If you read the digital copy and have any questions, feel free to ask here and I'll respond.

Also, if any of you are in book clubs, I'll meet with your group in-person if you're local (or via Skype if you're not) if your group chooses my book as a reading selection. I have reading questions on the book site at http://www.thebreak-updiet.com/bookclub.

Happy reading! And don't forget the chocolate!

SweetPeaSurry said...

Hmm ... that sounds like a book I could delve into ... especially with the whole 'houdini' debacle!

Count me in girl!

Cora said...

Ohhhh, that book sounds fantastic. Definitely my sort of thing! I really can't wait to read it. Thanks for posting this!

Jessica said...

Ohh.. if I don't win I'm buying this for sure.

~ Erica ~ said...

Sounds like a great book! I can add a thing or two! I would love to have a signed copy as well!

americanising desi said...

i so wanna get my hands on this!

Manda said...

Gotta get this book!

Gigi-Gray said...

Oooohhhhh! I can't wait to read this! Great interview! I need to go on a Ten Year Itch Ditet...teehee

Ashley said...

who couldn't use a good break up read. Put my name in the hat

tinasauers said...

Pick me! Pick me! I lived through an air raid siren-run to the shelter with three kids in tow-while wearing a bathrobe and nightie and clutching passports in case our trailer got sucked up in the tornado and we would need proof of citizenship to get back into Canada-and only after the all clear had been given did I realize I didn't have on any panties! I could use a pick me up!
Your faithful reader and fellow hairstylist,
Tina

BakerGirl said...

This book sounds really interesting and I would love the recipe for "Love me S'mores"

:-)

Jane said...

This book sounds like one I would really enjoy. Thanks for reading it and reviewing it on your blog! :-)

Karen said...

Sounds like a really great read, Tia. I'd love to get my hands on a copy, too. Thanks for the review/interview!

Shannon said...

What woman doesn't love a good relationship book? Sounds wonderful.

Nej said...

Can't wait to give it a read!!

I'll have to get a copy of it for a friend of mine. She's going through it all right now, and it sounds like just the thing for her to read. She keeps talking like she's the only one, and she's alone, and it's only ever happened to her....etc, etc, etc.

Annette said...

Nej,

I get a lot of emails from women who say the book has given them a sense of hope after their break-up. Even if they can't relate directly to my lifestyle at that time (single mom, dancing, homeschooling, etc.), the emotions that go along with losing a relationship you thought was "the one" is universal to all women.

I hope your friend finds peace in her heart soon. =)

sarahbelledotcom said...

AH! amazing (!!!) interview =)

the book sounds absolutely fantastic! and if i'm, for some unknown reason, not the lucky winner of it, i for suuuure will be buying it.

Melissa said...

Yay - I love books!

Brianna said...

Me, me me me! I want one!

Pretty please random number generator, pick me?

remember moments said...

Sounds like a really fun book - I would love to win the signed copy!!

Laura said...

Such a great interview Missy and such a great idea for book. My break up diet ha consisted of either no food at all or salty and sweet. Eventually I hit the gym again, take vitamins and feel much better :)

What makes you smile? Come and enter the Under the Sheets giveaway contest.

Rochelle said...

It is so awesome that you get to interview authors -- I think it is totally magical how everyones life is so different and the same all at once!

Heidi said...

sounds like a great book!

the girL said...

Sounds like something every girl can relate to! Thanks for the interview

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I'd love to read it!

Andrea said...

Me want! This is me officially signing up to win!

Shirley said...

What a great book! I'm still at the me and my ex-boyfriend are gonna get back together stage.

Nickie. said...

Sounds like a great book! This is def. something I need at the moment. =) My bf just broke up with me and well..its on my blog soo. lol.

KRISTIN said...

I so look forward to reading this book!

saveyoursoul said...

The book sounds great. Eager to read, hopeful for the copy. Thanks!

Midnight said...

I love your blog, and i just recommended it to my readers. Hope you don't mind! =)
Btw, i'm so gonna read that book! (sorry if my english is bad)

savor - silence - savor - cin said...

looks like a good find.

put me down for one =)

ClaireMontgomeryMD said...

sign me up

Adore Design Studio said...

Oh, yes please! Sign me up!

Breanna
http://adoredesignstudio.blogspot.com

Captain Cleavage said...

Sign me up tia!!! This looks awsome!

.bethany. said...

That book sounds incredible, and soooo...I wanna win it!

Melanie said...

This book sounds great!

danidefective said...

I would love a new book!

I do what I want! said...

o0o0o sounds like a must read :)

Ms. Attitude said...

Okay, this book sounds so good! I would definately like to win one.

Kim said...

I'm so excited to get the digital copy, but a "real" copy would be even better. Can't wait to read it.

TudorCityGirl said...

Definitely a good read.
Ah..the break up diet. The only diet that ever really worked for me.
TCG

Candace said...

This looks like a good book!

Janet said...

Oooooh! I want to win! This sounds like an awesome book. And I just broke up with someone. I so need to read this.

emily said...

this sounds like a good book for me to read right now since i just went through a break-up. ugh break-ups suck. at least everyone goes through them and it's not just me right? i'll try to get my hands on a copy for sure. maybe i'll even win!

 

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